"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." And I believe he states the truth.If you wanna get through this life even close to intact, you had better learn to bend and flow. As a young child I was crazy about "Kung Fu." I was one of those 5 year olds interested in the travels of a shaolin monk. I could relate as he frequently kicked ass and it was NEVER his fault. Caine seemed to have no plans and still managed to be right on point and on path. He just sort of rode waves across the dessert finding himself where he was meant to be. No stress. But maybe eventually we all need to learn the lessons that come from staying still?
I get that all things need to adapt and evolve to be truly living...but that don't mean I'm ready. I crave stillness but doubt that I am capable. It's gonna be a hard one for me. Stopping, and letting it all just be? I don't think I am alone but accepting that I am indeed "at home" is near to an alien concept for me.
But as long as this road in front of me is turning out to be, I may well be done by the time I reach the end of it. In the process I may just cure myself of the need to wander.
And besides, it is so hard to have a garden while on the road.
Funny...I don't have the option right now to be anything BUT still, and you see from being here how hectic and chaotic it is in this protracted refugee life... How ordinary distractions are amplified by the weight of the exponential distance from What I Want, so they are infused with a sharp intensity that slaps me in the face and sets me down breathless.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, there are lessons to be learned from this still, cold, space--this is a deep freeze, a breathing cryogenic state where I'm not allowed to run from any of my consequences: intended or not, deserved or not. And I get to see things, regardless of what intentions I had, what life course I thought I was setting, and see how what I did or thought I was doing is both relevant and not, and why. I think the hardest part is realizing what I _could_ have done differently be closer to what I want, but recognizing here, high-centered in this lovely high desert, that's not how that Wisdom thing works. "Life is what happens to you while you're busy makin other plans" lennon sez...
Get a job hippie!
ReplyDelete